Jealousy Manifest

 

A man is walking down a tree-lined street close to his flat – his third walk of the day. Wearing an elegant-looking trench coat completely unsuited for the cold, his hands shiver in his pockets. His mind, however, is elsewhere. The look of consternation of his face suggests that just like the two previous walks, little by way of relaxation has been achieved so far. He looks as if he is hurrying towards something. He is not. If anything, he might be trying to get away. From what exactly, we are not sure he could say. What is certain is that tension is palpable in the pacing.

He stops. He stares at a duck. It is an unremarkable looking duck, ugly even. The man keeps looking at it. The duck, in turn, also stops to stare. Just as quickly as he stopped, the man continues walking, now making a left turn to begin circling back home. It is easy to guess that something is troubling the young man; he is almost wearing his feelings on his face. Nevertheless, the smile he gives to the little kid who bumps into him is wide and full of feeling. The kid responds with a happy yell in a language he does not understand. He continues walking with fewer contortions on his face.

Once again, he stops as if suddenly impeded. Pulling his phone up from his pockets, he looks at his steps count. A little shake of the head suggests he is unhappy with the number. He is too close to home for it to go up enough today; turning around right now would feel like a loss. He exhales heavily, imagining himself shaking his fist at the sky, resumes walking at his comic pace. It is apparent to any onlooker as he unlocks the front door – this man is now more at ill-ease than before his walk. He has gotten used to it too quickly – the privilege of a leisurely walk. The leisure, perhaps, is supplied in retrospect.