Nothing ever happens
Since the start of the Ukraine war, ‘nothing ever happens’
has been a popular refrain used in memes online in a post-ironic reference to
the complete failure of the ‘end of history’ theory. Fukuyama, of course, has long
admitted a mistake on that front. ‘Nothing ever happens’ does seem to be the
defining feature of my day-to-day. A quarter century of letting life just
happen to me has brought me to a not disagreeable condition. A general feeling
of unfulfillment, not uncommon amongst my generation, is little to complain
about.
Every day feels like a slog, but we zoomed past the new year
into March in the blink of an eye. Everything is fleeting. I choose deliberate obfuscation
in my articulation frustration. Everything is in the undercurrent; at best, it
invites questions. I am unconvinced this isn’t bad writing, just as well then that
no one actually reads it.
I used to hate that quote ‘hell is other people’. I still
hate it, but only because I think it is incomplete. Heaven is also other
people. Everything is other people. Like the question about a tree falling in a
forest without anyone to observe, I think there is little to be said for a life
lived without other people. That is not to say that life is about performance.
Perhaps it is performance, but it about more. Even as I do not
seek an audience, I do take considerable care to chronicle. It is often in ways
easily accessible for anyone who tries. Maybe it betrays the failings of deeply
repressed urges of actually wanting to centre the self. It would not be without
merit to suggest every post here is a step in that direction, with a deliberately
easy way to get here hidden in plain sight.
Part of feeling unrealized as a person is thinking there is
more to personhood than what you are voluntarily or involuntarily limiting yourself
to. The bottlenecks are institutional; they are material. I am not sure what a
rational reaction would be. It is almost in my interest to hurry the Sun up and
down every day, and to ensure that nothing ever happens.
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